Smart what?

I saw this ad on TV, said "home phone without the internet for $15 a month, unlimited calling.

So I'm thinking this is about like Magic Jack? um nope.
Magic Jack uses your internet connection to make calls. Use a standard phone but it wont do a whole house of phones.  So I called them. Ya know how you look back and think good lord what the hell was I thinking? this is one of those times.....


The following is what happened.

First I tried my Teleblends phone. The computer that answered the phone didn't understand the buttons I pushed. Are those buttons different on phones made outta the country? No they are all the same, some programmer was a moron and didn't quite get it to understand my phone. So since I have a "land line" I used it to get more information.

Me ) Hello?
Them ) Please wait.
Me ) ok?
5 mins wait...not a good sign
Them ) You have the wrong extention
Hmm I called the number on the tv and it's wrong? ok
Them ) I will correct you.....
Ah a clue, not in the US!
Another 5 mins waiting
Them ) Can I help you set up your phoneline? what's your phone number?
Me) Um I dont have a phone to set up yet, I'm calling for information.
Them ) ok what is your question? 

Note there is no s on question, since they must have a limit of questions they can answer?

Me ) Can you explain how this thing works? $100 is a large chunk of change and I'd like to get information about it.
Them ) It works like a cell phone, dont need a standard phone line to use nor the internet.
Me ) ok. Do you have a map of what area coverage I can expect?
Them ) Give me your number and I'll look it up.

My number? remember I dont have service with them why would they need my number if I'm not a customer?

Me ) dont have service with you, I'm trying to figure out if I can use this or not.
Them ) your number will tell me
Me ) no other way for me to see a coverage map?
Them ) um Give zip code and I'll look it up.
Me ) ok . (gave them the one near me, not mine )
Them ) maps shows pretty good coverage
Me ) I'd like to look at the map myself
Them ) sorry can not do that. The tower is close to where you are and should give good coverage with good signal.
Me ) Where is this tower located?
Them ) It's a Verizon tower.

When the tornado's came thru a year ago it took that tower to the ground. So I know how bad the service is using that tower or was before it was destroyed.

Me ) oh well that isn't a good sign. When I had a verizon cell it didn't work at my house. But your saying this thing will work?
Them ) It might

How many bells are going off in your head? I had a bunch of them!

Me ) ok now if I try this thing and it doesn't work at my house can I get a refund?
Them ) only for the box with the stuff to connect, not for service.
Me ) you mean I have to BUY a service card too? It's not in the box?
Them ) no that is another $45 for connection fees and $20 for the card.

What started out as a not a bad deal has just turned into a nitemare!

Me ) So I will be out $65 if it doesn't work? no refund on that?
Them ) No, prepaid service card does not refund.
Me ) Plus shipping? No refund on that either?
Them ) No just the box. Plus you must pay to ship it back.

That works out to around $200 to TEST this thing, and if it doesn't work I'm out $100 with no kiss or reach around? Who has that kinda money to throw away? NOT ME!

Me ) Can I see the map? or is that one of the things your company doesn't share with future customers?

Them ) No share map


Then I just hung up shaking my head.
Here are the facts this "person" didn't know. Yes I HAD a straight talk cell AND a verizon cell.
Neither worked worth beans due to the Steel Mill across the street from me. It messes with the signal so most cell phones dont work here, even cordless phones have a struggle to work correctly. I am not like a normal person, I ask questions BEFORE I jump on anything. What does this cover or that cover? Who is paying if it messes up? All those questions no one wants to bother to ask but does think about. What I decided was this, my teleblends phone works pretty good and I can block whoever I want whenever I want. And those folks speak proper English! I'm not changing to a company where English is the second lanuguage spoke by employees.

If you live close to a tower and have great signal it would be good for you. But not for me.

were you born stupid or go to school for it?

I used to work at a local grocery store. Just like everyone else I started at the bottom of the food chain. Working shifts that were crazy, split or just short. 

After a couple years I got further up the chain. Did a pretty good job, even with those that didn't read the signs, express doesn't mean 100 items....oy.

One day I was picking up some stuff for the woman I was staying with. First let me tell you she didn't have eyeballs. Yes she was totally blind. That part didn't bother me, not my business. I brought her check, she had already signed it. I tried to use it to pay for her groceries. The assistant manager gave me a fit! I wanna see her drivers license, make sure she fills out a check cashing card. I tried to explain that she didn't drive and I would be using her checks to pay for her food. After the 40 mins of his stupid questions on why she didn't drive I wanted to throttle him. But I didn't, I did get him back. As he was signing her check for the ok to use he noticed the braile across the top. And he says "what are these funny bumps on the check?" Took everything I had not laugh in his face. All that time wasted being a jerk had come back to bite him in the butt. I said "what you dont understand the woman has no eyes and uses braille to read who the check is made out to?" He just stood there with his face hanging out. Then I get him with the other barrel, I said "you think the governor will give her a license with no eyes?" 

The manager was watching this whole mess trying not to laugh. I walked over to him and said "ok Mr funny, you make him understand she doesn't drive and can't use something she doesn't have like FREAKING EYEBALLS! He said he was sorry and would handle it. He did handle it, guy was tranferred to a store 60 miles away. I never had to deal with his stupid ass again.

Wizard is a game, not a damn love connection.

I play wizard 101, one of the 2 games I play regularly.
I will be adding to this as I remember to say something I forgot about.
Yes I've had SEVERAL folks, both genders, try to make it a love connection. WHAT PART OF IT'S A GAME DONT YA GET? You want to make a love connection that isn't the place.

I play, I do NOT take serious what is said to me. Only exception is this, any child or suspected child that cusses, gives out personal information or puts themselves in real life danger I will report to the police, not the cussing part but the other part.

I play mostly with adults. Some kids I play with to show them how to set up for bigger hits, and how to protect themselves. Sounds easy right? WRONG!

My first character was Ice school, ok so my favorite color is blue. I had 0 clue what I was doing. The start of the game was less than helpful. Tutorials written so you can't make a mess up really dont help without a reason.

The first area they send you to is not real bad. You have to read the directions on what exactly they want. Just because the LOOK the same dont mean they are. How do you tell the good guys from the bad guys? If you set it to show only the names of the bad guys then it will say all the time over their head.

No matter how hard you try to kill everything there will always be someone that dont understand what they are seeing and jump in the fight with you. Usually they are kids, you can tell kids or new players because they can't talk. They have menu chat so what they say is pre programmed in. You can't tell them not to jump in your fights. That isn't because you can't talk, it's because they can't see it. The ones with menu only chatting can only read menu chat. It was designed to keep the kids from seeing stuff they shouldn't. But without a parent watching no telling what they will see. The first week was not much fun. I had to figure out which way to go, no helping on quests back then. And the kids that kept jumping in was driving me MAD! I did finally make it out of unicorn way and on to bigger and better things.

The first area is where I learned what drops were about. But why did they drop stuff I can't use?
Some of the stuff is for a certain school only. When you check your backpack it will tell you all kinds of things including school only gear. You get hat, robe, shoes, athame, wand and necklace. I spent hours trying to figure out which was the best for me that was in my limit of gold or experience points.

The first thing I wanted was the best robe, hat and shoes. Pets were not a big thing back then since they were just kinda there. Tons of changed since I got Murphy my pet dragon. Yes I still have her. She was a drop from a boss. Heck if I know which one that was a long time ago.
I dyed her to match my clothes and was happy to have a nice pet with me. My friends were more excited than I was because they knew pets sometimes do things. Murphy has a card! She has the dragon blade card. It is special since only dragons can give it.

November 17

I did this crazy training thing at the arena this morning. Yes it's better. Will it help anyone?
Doubtful. Why you say, You can't pick any card like in real play so if your, in my case myth, not that school you dont think it applies. Well it does, and if they had a halfway decent programmer they could make it for the school your wizard is in.

It's a prism not a convert. I do hate when folks use the wrong name, very confusing to young players. I insist on using the name of the card, that way there is less confusion on which one I was talking about. The feint card dont work in my head. Let me explain how it works. First you cast this thing and it puts a trap on the bad guy, good size trap that can be used my anyone in the fight with you. Now the bad side, it puts a trap on you too! Do I really wanna get hit even harder? If you do not have a life wizard that can heal you, no not all of them do. Then I would suggest you dont use the damn thing.

It first came out when morons just had to fight each other and not the bad guys. Who would think this is fun? sure the hell not me! I did try it once. The other guys we were fighting against chain hit me till I was dead. One round and your screwed!

Chain hitting is everyone hit just ONE opponent. Wizard said this is bad and dont do it. Even made a rule against it. Care to take a guess who breaks the rule ALL the time? Wizard does.
When I'm fighting I expect to be hit my share, but god damn it all 4 hit me in a row and expect me to live? Who programmed this crap?

Why pay to get yourself upset over this stupid game?
Even better question, who lied and said they read every conversation in the game?
If they did read EVERY conversation in the game then 90% would be muted or kicked out the game forever.  Since the first rule is on the sign on screen, do NOT share your password with anyone. You will be banned forever. Oh sure another rule, do they follow that one? who knows.

New worlds mean new problems. I get that, really I do.
Since the company refused to let me test it and show them the problems I say "GO FUCK YOURSELF AND FIX YOUR JUNK"
Yes I'm upset, not mad just upset. 
First dont rush release dates, why? so some of the shit that dont work right or even work at all can be made right. When the game loads I see 500000 patches. ya know if they had programmers with enough brain cells they would rewrite the whole thing and fix the many crashes the game does. No way they are not making money hand over freaking fist. But yet they rush to get something put out that dont work right. Many customers/wizards have stopped playing because of the crazy broken stuff that someone didn't bother to fix. In my eyes it would be better to have everything correctly working BEFORE letting anyone go thru it. Why must one be a paid with subscription to test? I paid by crowns, a bunch of money I might add. But since it's for subscription accounts only I got left off. So I can and WILL post every god damn misteak I find and put in bug reports till the cows come home. I used to have a programmer that liked me and would listen when I send him a message about a problem, he's not in the game anymore.

ok going to calm down before I ride to texas and kick some ass for junk I paid for, god I hate that!



1/19/13

Well I'm not exactly sure what is going on. I suspect someone at wizard is a moron. The servers keep throwing me all over the place, and that's when they sorta work. I have complained but it's not worth the typing. This morning I tried to do my gardening and god damn thing wouldn't let me switch characters! And this is my fault how?

Seems since pirate when live wizard was thrown to the side. This is NOT a smart move. I have played wizard everyday for the last oh 5 years or so. I help other players, give advice, point out what they should already know and generally have a good time. BUT if the game doesn't work right then WHAT THE FUCK? Are they listening to the players or just a few they think may be right? 

Most schools are pretty straight forward, or I should say were. They added spells, huh? how you suppost to get said spells? You can't get a level 60 to go back to marleybone to get a spell, it's down right stupid. If you should have a spell then why is it random if you get it in a fight? Now who's moronic idea was this? If you start with going to the teacher for your spells then why all of a sudden teach is thrown aside for you to keep fighting the same guy over and over and over and pray the spell is granted to you? This makes no sense. Yet it's how they set it up.

They give you advice on how to GET stuff, really? for real? no, wizard expects other folks to figure it out and then they set up thier own website to give you some help. Is this a ploy to get you to help everyone? or is it dumb programming that dont make sense?

Let me remind folks, they have made MILLIONS of dollars with this game. Yet they dont have a phone number for you to call when the crap crashes. Tech support is what they can get by with , not proactive to try and stop problems. Used to have techs in the game you could show them the problem spots and they got fixed. Well not anymore. Since Pirate came out Wizard is the red headed step child.

If they think in thier wildest dreams I'll play? they have lost thier minds!
If I'm not good enough to test, and yes I tested wizard and AOL and Windows for year. Then what the hell makes you think I'm going to give you my expert reports on your junk? SCREW YOU. And that is my take on Pirate, keep it and pray they got new techs and programmers that are not idiots like the ones that did wizard.

I miss my dog

I havn't posted anything for a bit, had a not so fun month.





This is about the last picture I have of him before he passed on. His heart gave up on him.

His story starts off with showing up at a guys house with a collar too small and all his bones showing. He was starved! The guy asked me to take him because he didn't want him.

So I took him in. He had no name yet so I asked a friend online if her son wanted to name him since he couldn't have a dog himself he could pick one for this guy. He gave me 2 choices, Sunshine or Thomas, yup he likes Thomas the engine. I figured sunshine didn't fit for this boy so I went with Thomas.  He took to the name right away. The first 24 hours was like something outta twilight zone.

Had to take new dog to the emergency vet, let me tell you this I HATE THAT PLACE!
The vet looked him over, then told me what she thought.

vet : he needs fluids
me: ok if that will make him even a little better go for it.
vet: Why is he so skinny?
me: I got him this morning, can't say what else happened before then
vet: You need to learn how to properly feed your dog.

I'll never forget those words, God knows I wanted to smack this woman. How does she think in less than a day I made him look this way? Why didn't she bother to listen to what I said ? Was I talking to use up her oxygen? I let her give him the iv with fluids and all her orders, paid the OMG bill and left. Brought him back home knowing I would take him to a real vet tomorrow.

I did take him to my regular vet. Gave him the papers she gave me and told him what she said. I thought I was mad, but not next to what my vet said. He called her on the phone and told her off.
You cant talk to my patients like that ever, do you understand she had the dog less than a day when you yelled at her?

He did get better, put on a bit of weight to start. He was 32 pounds, vet guessed him at 4 months old Great Dane.  You could count all the ribs and bones in his spine without touching him. God it was awful! How could anyone do this to this sweet dog?

Many nites of talking and caring for him, letting him know someone would be there to feed him everyday.  At first it was who is gonna stand where and eat? Thomas wouldn't eat if I was in the room. He was fine with the other dogs but no way if I was there. So we did a little creative feeding. First was dry, hmm it's ok but I want something else. So I set out to find him that something that would make him want to eat. Went to the store and spotted dog gravy. What the heck is that? and would he eat it? I had to try.

First time I put it on the food was shall we say Joy?  He took one sniff, and started eating. I could stay in the room as long as I didn't watch him. Ok I can look the other way so he will eat.  And eat he did, the following 6 months was the guess if he wants gravy or not and which canned food I could make gravy with. Yup I tested flavors, and brands. Some were a hit, others got a sniff and laid down. I had started taking notes, just in case. Next visit to the vet went pretty good as far as the food went. He had gained 15 pounds! and was looking much better. All but his hips.

You could tell by looking at him his hips were not the greatest. So I asked if it could be fixed. Um not really since the leg bones had been starved when the rest of him starved and almost died.
So yes he looked weird but he could run just like the rest of them.

Buster, my lab mix, was his buddy. Buster came from Dixie the lab I had taken in so she could live outside instead of in this guys basement. Her story is a whole nuther thing I'll write about later.

So for the next 5 years the 2 boys were in the yard all the time. Except when I sent Thomas to be fixed. Buster was done but I wanted Thomas done too. It was an adventure he didn't like. He didn't want to be away from Buster and Buster spent the night crying and looking for his buddy. When I picked him up the next morning I was god again, at least in his eyes. I came back for him!
That was the only night I spent away from Thomas the whole 8 years he was here.

That year him and Buster disappeared from the backyard. I was freaked out! I walked the neighborhood. Called the police, called animal control, even called my vet. No one had seen them. Lady and I walked all around, her sniffing and making sure she left her scent so she could find her way back. I yelled till I couldnt yell anymore. Then each time I got back without them I cried. Where were my boys? What has happened to them? Why had no one seen them? It's not like you could hide 2 big dogs from everyone's site right? After 2 weeks there was a knock at the front door. I didn't answer it, William did. He just flung open the door and let them in. They found their way back! Thomas had knocked on the door to be let in. They had both lost weight but were in pretty good shape. Still took them to the vet to be sure they were ok.  Was the longest 2 weeks I had ever been through. After that I trained them to come to me with a whistle to get a cookie. And by god it worked like a charm!

Thomas had some minor health issues, like any normal dog. He was fine as long as I was here and his buddy with by his side. We did checkups without much fan fare. Neither gave the vet a hard time about blood or stool samples. It was all part of what mom wanted. He was on heart worm preventative. And took that when it was offered. He took so many different meds for his hips and pain he was just about open his mouth without me touching him.

Many trips to the vet ended in a side trip to meet new folks. Thomas was a hit at the State Farm office. A big dog that didn't try to eat anyone and just sat next to me with all the ladies getting their turn at petting him. We showed everyone he could shake hands, they all loved that. Only one was scared of dogs, and his size made him even more scary. But I knew he wouldn't hurt anyone. He just sat there and took all the love and attention everyone gave. The one scared lady had to be helped to just touch him. He sat there quietly waiting for that hand to pet him. He never moved so she wouldn't miss. That day she found out not all dogs bite or yell. Some like Thomas just sit and enjoy life. He was a sweetie and got a cookie for being a good boy.

About 3 years ago I was at home, not that I go anywhere far anyways. Went to bed like any other night. The boys were quiet, like they usually were. Seemed like everything was about perfect.
Got up the next morning, no boys at the door for breakfast? how could this be?
So I go out in the yard looking. And there was Thomas laying next to his buddy trying to wake him up. God it was heart breaking to see him that upset. I cried, Thomas was unhappy.  I hugged him for hours it seemed. Lady, my other dog, went to be with him. They would just lay next to each other all the time. You could tell he missed his buddy.

After about a month of lady being with Thomas all the time I decided to find another dog. Let me look at some rescues that need homes and maybe we can find something I explained to Thomas and Lady. No other dog will take either of your places but we got room and love for another kids, dont ya think? So for the next few weeks the hunt was on. I saw big dogs, little dogs, some looked like they had been beaten. All looked like they needed a home but it didn't hit me till I saw Bullet. Now mind you I had a male dog at home, and looking at another male dog. I knew it would work. And it did. Thomas took to Bullet like they had been old friends thier whole lives!

Thomas had days he had trouble walking around. He always had his tail wagging for me. On the days I knew he was having trouble he got his meds and in a few hours he was out chasing squirrels again. He spent lots of hours yelling at cats, yes he hated them. More than once I had to get a dead cat out of the yard so he wouldn't try to roll in it....yuck! One morning he was barking and trying to get in the barn. So I went to see what all the fuss was about. A young cat had snuck  into the barn. I figured the cat would leave on it's own. But it didn't. It ran right towards Thomas, that was a bad idea cat. He grabbed the cat around the ribcage and shook his head till it was dead. I tried to stop him, but he was much stronger than I am. I gave him what for, told him the cats were to look at and not kill. Like he's gonna listen and understand what I was talking about, tail wagging the whole time. Was the last time I saw him touch a cat.

About a year ago he was sun bathing, like normal. But I could see his heart beating in his chest. I watched him for about 20 mins. He seemed to be outta breath too. Ok this is too weird, so I called the vet. Bring him in as soon as you can. So off to the vet we went. Vet wasn't sure if it was the heat or what was going on and wanted to check before he would tell me anything.
Have you ever tried to put a great dane on an exam table that is smaller than he is? I had to be there so he would stay put. The vet ran an EKG, I know that just sounds weird. He left the room with the strip in his hand and went to his office to make a call. He called a cardiologist to let her see what was on the strip. Faxed her the strip and waited for her to say what she thought. I stayed with him the whole time, holding his paw so he wouldn't move. She asked for a second strip to be faxed. Ok now she has 2 strips, what was she thinking? After about forever, or so it seemed the vet came back in to tell me his heart was missing a part of the full heart beat. I gave my huh look and listened. He explained there are 4 parts to a heart beat and the first part was missing. I'm thinking dear lord how can that be fixed?  Then he says " we can put him on meds to fix that and his heart rate because it's too fast"  He was wearing out his heart trying to make up for the lost part of his heartbeat.  Ok doc we'll give it a shot. He had 2 meds for me to give him. Said just pick them up at any pharmacy.

Thomas was glad to be home again. He was still a little wobbly but seems ok. I ran off to the pharmacy at Walmart to get his meds. All I can say is this, who puts morons working in a pharmacy? The script said Animal Clinic across the top, so they should know it's for an animal right? HELL NO! was a fight right from the start to get those meds without talking to the vet every freaking time! When I would pick then up was always the same question with the same answer. Date of birth, I dont know when the bitch whelped him. Followed by the same look of horror. I cussed? no ma'am that wasn't a cuss that is what a female dog is called. He is a dog, not a person. Then I had to sign so they wouldn't put child proof caps on, like they work anyways.


After a week of the heart meds I noticed he was putting on weight? how could that be? So on the phone with the vet again. Bring him in and we'll have a look, he said. So off to the vet we go again. This time there was no waiting. He took one look at him and got on the phone. Back on the table again! My poor back was not liking this even a little. The vet opened a drawer and pulled out a needle, gonna see what is in there. Ok lets see. It was water, clear water! So he's not bleeding inside, that's good right? Doc says "yes and no" now what the hell kinda answer is that? Seems his heart pills had made him put on water weight. Ok so how do we get this off?
More meds. You explain to the pharmacy he has to have water pills and I'll go pick them up.
He gives me the how many pills to give how many times a day and I was off. Back to the pharmacy and that stupid question again right along with the horror look. Do these folks never read what's in front of them? OY!

I get the dog and pills home. Gave him the first dose and sent him out to play. At first he just peed and peed and peed, try watching that without laughing. Then he would run over to the dog pool and get a drink and it would start over, pee pee pee. By nite fall he was all good and had calmed down and settled in to snooze the night away. The first day was the worse on those pills. Once he got the water moving outta his system he was all good again. A little slower with the extra weight but all good. After a couple of weeks of following exact directions on meds he was back to his old happy self again. I little less water to carry around made him happy again. Then he was back on the I hate cats kick again.

He had to get that cat, and the cat would strut around like ha ha you can't get me. He would yelled till I went out and chased the cat off. The one night he escaped the yard, how? we searched the fence line till I found the spot and had William fix it. Thinking it was all good again I went to bed. That night he must have seen another cat and went under the fence again! Good lord Thomas you gotta stop this, I hate to tie you but you leave me no choice. You have to stay in the yard.

The next morning I get up to find Thomas in the neighbors yard! yes he was still hooked to the cable but he went under the fence! So I go back in the house, grab the leash and go get him. He was all happy mom was here to set him free again. Another lecture on leaving the yard, fed him his breakfast and his meds and put him back in the yard only I moved the cable so he wouldn't reach the fence. Who's the smart one now? We spent days putting fence on the ground attached to the chain link so they can't just go under it. Covered it with dirt, and kept him tied for another few days. Finally he gave up going after the cats. Thank god!

Everyday, no matter what I was doing, he got his meds. I would be playing wizard, see the clock and say so sorry but Thomas comes before this game, I'll be back after I take care of him. The folks I played with a lot knew where I was going and about how long it would take. They just giggled and waited for me to get back. New folks got told where I was or just shut up and wait for her to get back. It was something they all knew was gonna happen no matter what or where I was. Everyone got used to it.

About a month ago he started acting slower than normal. Sleeping more and not wanting to eat. I got past the I dont wanna eat thing with cheese. He would sit next to his bowl and wait for me to sprinkle it on, sniff sniff and he would eat. He really didn't enjoy his cookies like he used to, figured he was slowing down on them and that was ok. Cookies are a treat not his main food.

On March 3rd he didn't want his cookie, now that was weird. A dog turn down a cookie? So I watched him. He seemed ok. Slept in his house with his buddy like normal. He still got his meds, but seemed to be putting on weight again, water again? are his meds not right? what is going on?

March 4th, he didnt wanna eat anything, gave him his meds and sent him outside. He went and slept in the sun, but I could see his heart was beating kinda hard. So I watched him. He napped some and walked around some. Then went in his house with Bullet and had a fight! They never had a real fight, mostly wrestling. But he had a tooth mark in his forehead!  So Bullet got tied to make sure Thomas was safe. I dont know what caused the fight and wasnt going to take a chance of anyone else getting hurt.  Thomas went to the other side of the yard and laid down.

That just bugged me. Why did they fight? So I bring Thomas in to check his wound from the fight. I noticed he had blown up with looked like water even more than before. I call the vet. He's not in the office on Sundays but you can leave a message, so I did. I then called the emergency vet, that woman thought I was nuts! So I waited for the vet to call me back. I kept Thomas in the house with me. He followed from the kitchen to the living room and laid down next to Lady's house. The vet called me back, I explained what had happened with the fight and how he looked. While on the phone he was breathing hard like he couldn't catch his breath. I talked for about 5 mins and had decided to bring him in to see if there was something that could be done.

I was running around getting everything together. Talking to him so he could hear my voice the whole time. Leash check, seat belt  check, phone, coffee smokes ...I'm ready to go. I walk over to him and he's not moving! I tried to shake him to wake him, nothing. Called his name at the top of my lungs, nothing. So I called the vet back, he's not moving I said. He says check his eyes.
Ok  So I touched his eye, nothing. The vet says, it's too late, he's gone. I just burst out crying.
My god why did you take him? He was a good boy and loved me. I can honestly say I tried. I didnt want him to go. But he was gone.

I took off his collar and put it on his picture. Then told William we need to get him outta the living room. The whole time crying my eyes out for this dog I loved. I went and got a bag to put him in. William put him in the bag and put him out on the porch. I cleaned up where he had messed when he passed away.

None of the other dogs were there, I made sure they wouldn't see him after he died.


So this story should explain why I've been so stand off ish to everyone for the last month. I still cry because I miss him and will for the rest of my life.

Your gonna do what to my siding?

I had this bright idea, since I got the storms in and installed. Yes I installed them all by myself <gasp> It's not like it's rocket science to install them.

Anyway, I wanted to put nice inside windows, Can't be that hard can it. No I didn't order them, I got a window place called Window World to do it for me. Ok now you figure with a name like that they should have a clue right?  WRONG! I told them which windows I wanted installed or replaced.  Being a half smart person I figured they couldn't screw this up right?  WRONG

The woman, yes a woman came, and measured the openings from the inside. All the while I'm asking questions. I wanted double hung windows I can fold in to wash. White vinyl and yes I wanted the screen but I wanted to be able to take it out. Now does any of this sound difficult?

2 weeks later I get a call they are ready. I said cool, come on over and install them. I was in the kitchen getting coffee when I heard breaking glass. I ran to find out what the heck was going on.
I ran to the bedroom where the first window was being installed. He had broke the storm window! I ran outside and said "what the hell are you doing? leave the storms alone" He stood there with his hands on his hip, not a good pose with that belly hanging out by the way. He says "but I gotta put these windows in and the storms are in the way"  I said "why are you destroying my siding? Leave that alone. He said "can't do that since the storms were installed under the siding. Now that storm I did not install. That was done before I came here.

Went to find the boss, I said 'leave the storms alone, install them from the inside since that was the side you measured"  she says, "cant put them in that way" I'm thinking what? that's the side you measured and you can't install them?

The guy is still outside ripping the siding off with the storm window. I went screaming out and yelled move and I'll shoot you. Now get down off the ladder and dont move from there. He did that part, standing around must be his second job cuz he did it so well.

I go back inside. Find this "boss" and tell her to leave the rest of them, I will install them myself.
Your gonna love this part, she says "I can't just leave them, you might take them to lowes and get money for them" I about fell down with laughter Of all the stores in the world for her to mention she had to pick that one. Good lord, I said, are you serious?  I'm guessing she was with that mean frown on her face. So I said ok if you must install them I insist you do it from the inside so you wont damage my house anymore than you already have. They slide in, nothing fancy about installing them. But to her it was like I asked her to cut off her arm or something. I said ok let me show you on this next one, Don't let him touch anything till I show you. She yelled something to him I couldn't understand and he went and sat on the porch. I pick up the widow, slide it in place. I said see no damage to anything. All you had to do was measure right and I could have put them in. I did make her screw them in place and put caulk all the way around. No more damage to the house or my storms. I'm thinking we got this made in the shade, nope I was wrong that time.

Seems someone before me tried to put fancy windows with metal sliders to hold them in place.
I could not for the life of me figure out why they did this to the only room in the house that A doesn't have a closet, and B is cold as ice in the winter. But who am I to judge. After 45 mins of grunting and pulling they finally got the old one out. Now to install the new one, oh lord here we go again. This woman was playing with a deck of all black 3s I think. I showed her again. She wanted to install the last one, I said no just leave it. I have enough damage to the house not to mention my nerves.

I paid for most of it, took off for the busted storm. Informed her I would be speaking to her boss later on in the week. And she left. Not sure if her family tree didn't fork or what the deal was but I couldn't handle her around anymore. I wanted to smash her with my broken storm. I'm thinking crap now I gotta go thru that ordering the damn thing again. But since I was now low on funds I didn't do it. It still to this day doesn't have a storm. It is the lowest quality window I have ever seen. It is my fault for being lazy and not just doing it myself. The one time I tried a shortcut and it bit me in the ass.

Once again I learned something. You want something done right do it yourself or kill someone for messing it up.

I am not an idiot, I swear.

A few years ago I decided to put storm windows on my 130 year old house. It had never had storm windows. So I go to home depot web site and lowes web site and research how to measure for them and checked prices.

The lowes site had a better price at the time on them so I figured I'd go in the store with my measurements in hand and tape hanging on my side. The first person that talked to me said "I only do doors, you will have to talk to the window expert" I'm thinking great, an expert.  After 20 mins of hunts, he was on his break, I finally found him. And this is what happened....

Hi, I'm wanting storm windows for my house, it's an old house and has never had them before. I used the directions on your website on how to measure them. <big sigh>

He responds, I can help you with that order. Please step over here. So I follow him to the counter that has the special order sign hanging over it. I whip out my paper with the measurements on it.
He asked, how many windows? I said 4 total please. He says ok what size, and I'm all proud I got this licked right? wrong.... so I rattle off the first measurement. He says ok what size is the flange?
I look at him with very puzzled look and say flange? no clue, since he never had storms on it before. And figured this guy should know what he's talking about? also wrong. He says "didn't you measure the storms on there?" I just stood there with a look like he's a moron on my face. I said there have NEVER been storms on this house before, so no I couldn't tell you anything about old storms without them not being on there. So he goes back to the form and says "I gotta have this flange measurement".  Now how you expect me to know what size they will be if you dont tell me the sizes offered.  I can't offer you any sizes you should know from the old windows.
WHAT PART OF THIS HOUSE HAS NEVER HAD STORMS ON IT DONT YOU GET? you guessed it by this time I'm getting a tad upset.  So he comes back with, you dont have to be abusive, and he walks off. I'm thinking what is this candid camera? or does this guy just not understand plain english? So I go after him, and said "are you going to order my windows?" he then says "hell no your too stupid"

Ok I've had my fill plus of this guy. I did not lose my cool. I walked all the way to the front of the store and asked to speak to the manager. So you hear him being called to the front over the PA.
Wasn't a long wait, about 5 mins. This young guy walks up with his necktie swinging as he walks. He says "I'm the manager, can I help?"  I reach up and grab his tie, and drag him back to the window dept and say "ok let us order my storm windows"  He says I have an expert for that, lets call him over. Now mind you I told him a bit of what happened but not all of it. The guy walks up to where he was when we started this how big is the flange thing and stops dead in his tracks. He then says "she's a stupid bitch and I aint waiting on her" The whole time I'm smiling because I know what will happen for him being this way but I want my windows!

So the manager says ok lets get those ordered for you, I'm sure I can do this. Ok lets do this, I say. And we start off same way as other guy, yes triple track, yes white, single screen. And then that damn word....what size is the FLANGE. I said ok look my house is 130 years old, it has NEVER had storm windows on it asking me how big the flange is just dont work. He says um I dont know how to order them. And stands there with a puzzled look on his face.
So the helpful person I am says "is there a order form that tells step by step how to order them?"
He says "yes right here" I'm thinking one way or another I'll get them ordered without killing someone... I hope. Can I come look at the book? is that ok? he says sure have a look.
First line says name, address, phone number, number of windows, number of tracks ect
The next part says measurements, ok now we might get somewhere. Right after the measurements part it says "please add 3/4" to each dimension for the flange"  YES! I yell out there it is right there on the form! 

I look this manager in the face and say "is reading optional for employment for lowes?"
He looks back and me, then looks at the "window expert" and says no ma'am it's not.
I then said ok we order the windows before I have a stroke from everything you folks have put me through. We did get them ordered, thank god. One thing I learned, never trust a man that can't take a woman is smarter than they are.  The manager was in the next isle with the window expert telling him he was fired.

I learned a lesson that day, never special order squat from Lowe's unless you have a penis because they dont believe women!

working in the wind tunnel

Got up this morning, overcast and yucky out. In a few hours the clouds broke up and went away, THE SUN IS OUT!  Current temp is 77.7 yeah I got a fancy weather station that says it's raining ROFL.  My plan for the day was to replant all those flower bulbs I pulled out the other day. There was a cart FULL.  As I was getting my second cup of coffee I hear a small engine running, is that a weed eater? But I put a request in with the city last Sept. No they never hurry, and takes my reminding them it's not done for it to be put back on the list. Had a team of 6 to clean and cut right of way AND the alley behind the house. I looked out the window at "just the wrong moment" the guy had his zipper down with his stuff hanging out taking a leak! I did say alley right? didn't say toilet, outhouse or anything close to that. Next time you wanna water the daisy's  yourself please go somewhere else, I dont wanna see! Not bad enough the hooker parks her "john's" under the street light and throws the used comdoms out the window! Care to guess where they end up? I got tired of picking them up with gloves on so now they wash down the street into the ditch across the street.

Since the city cant find a way to pay me to clean up I'm not doing it no more. The guys noticed, and asked "what happened to the guy that was doing it?" I said "excuse me but I'm not a guy and it was me cleaning and cutting for 10 years and have yet to get refunded for the bags or the gas to clean up someone else mess. So now I call you guys to do it. Are ya having fun? and by god dont cut my damn flowers this time.  I had to show them where they were so he wouldn't cut them. And he didn't. Why not? cuz I was standing there with a stick in my hand and wasn't afraid to use it.

Yup I'm funny about my flowers, dont like just any flower. I have some roses and some trees that have a meaning to me. And a few other flowers that also have a meaning to me. The monkey grass that is growing all along the fence I got from a friend that has since died. She gave me about 40 starters, now it's all along the front fence and really looks good. You would think I was feeding them, but I dont feed them. One of my dark red roses came from a friend that had it and was gonna throw it away. Had him put it in the back of my truck and take it home. It has done well considering it was looking bad when I got it. Had scale and spider mites. I mixed up a cure for it, sprayed once and mulched the heck outta it. It's about 5 feet tall and looks great. The one across the yard from it is a Jackson and Perkin's test rose. A friend had it sent to me. She knew I loved roses and picked what she thought I'd like. Well I do like it, and it's been tramped by the pear thief and still growing strong!  Did get a visit from the local police saying I was going to be sued for him getting hurt on my property. I said Let me get this straight, he jumps my fence to steal my pears and lands on my roses. It's my fault he got a thorn in his package? how? why?
Are you not going to arrest him for stealing my pears and traspassing? See I got a sign. The cop shook his head and said "it's a wash" wash my foot he got my pears!
I walked up to the guy and said first your an idiot, you know those roses are there next to the sign from Jackson and Perkins saying test roses. Yet you jump MY fence to STEAL my pears. Is it too hard to walk up to the front porch and ring the damn bell? I know it works. Why can't you do that? I usually donate the pears I can't use to the homeless. These are not bartlett pears they are cooking pears  the size of softballs. Someone explain why he can't walk 50 feet and ask.  If I can give the pears to someone that asks I usually do unless I'm about to make another batch of pear butter.  I share, so why steal?
The cop told him he needs to thank me for the pears and not pull a dumb stunt like that again. The cop wouldn't take the pear butter, he didn't want the guy to think I was bribing him....LOL

Anyways, the front looks pretty good,. They got almost all the trash, some I didn't even know was there and bagged it up and took it with them. Seems no one wants an old used tire, so I have to call the city and tell them it's there or hope the crew will put it in the report. Yes they are required to report what was done and if they found anything another dept needs to address. That was all they found bad, rest was stuff someone threw out the window. No I dont live on a busy street, it's a whole 2 blocks long but you'd think it was a major interstate!  How much fun is it for the tree limbs to hide the stop sign at a T inter section? If it's someone that isn't from here and dont know it's there, it's fun. Even if your not watching the idiots you can hear it....SSSCCCCRREEEEECCCCHHH  crunch. They can't stop because they are going WAY too fast, the street goes left only now. The right is a dead end with a metal barrier. They slide thru the stop sign and go right into the curb and into the mud bog. Ah time to call the tow truck and police. They get a ticket for going too fast AND running a stop sign....aint life a bitch? Then you add the tow bill.

Back to the bulbs, they came out of the flower bed in the back yard. Growing and just looking good. Then dummy says "I need them moved" So I dug them all up and put them in the cart, not working in the rain so I had to wait for a nice sunny day. Which today turned out to be. I grab the "grub hoe" and start digging a trench to lay the bulbs in then cover them up. I got about 2 feet down the line and found the roots to that damn vine that keeps trying to cover my house! I cut that sucker off. Got about another foot down the line and OMG I was stabbed! The rose I had cut back last fall dropped a limb right where I put my hand down! ZAP! ok I get the freaking hint.. across the yard it went. Went back to putting those bulbs in the ground. Oh gee this is monkey grass in here, I'll just put it at the end. I had more bulbs then I knew, was thinking around 200, more like 400! but I got them all in and covered up. Filled the cart with the weeds I pulled out and carried them to my new compost bin. On the way I got greeted by 3 of my 4 dogs trying to see what I had. It's only weeds, I said. They didn't care they had to check it out. Bullet stole one and started to make a run for it. But my hand was too fast and he lost it. Gave me that look like I stole is bestest toy. He is a brat I tell ya. So I made him walk to the bin next to me to watch where I was going to put them. He watched like they were gonna eat me alive or something. Once done I closed and locked the cover and rolled it 5 times to mix it with the coffee grounds that were already in there. Left it closed to start cooking. Bullet lifted his leg on the cart as if to say ok you are done now move along.  I dumped out what little dirt was left and stood it in line with the rest of the stuff. And went inside to wash my hands.

Came back out a little while later to show dummy a picture on my phone his nephew sent. Had to make sure it was what he needed. I sent back a text telling him it was.
Then I figured I got the camera in the phone let me take a picture or 2.

This is sassy, she is the smallest of my dogs. If you look in the background you can see her pool.
She swims in it during the summer. The board going across the side is for the birds, so they can drink or bathe or whatever.

After I took the picture I noticed the pump isn't working as good as it should. So back in the house for a screwdriver to take it apart and clean it. Took me a whole 5 mins, that includes walking across the yard. Now it is shooting water up above the board so the birds will like it again. The pool has a heater so it never freezes over, dogs wont drink city water but they will drink rain water. I dont fill that pool, it's from the run off of the roof. The dogs like it, the birds like it and the bugs are way down from the birds eating the bugs all summer long.

The only problem I have really had with the pool is some not so nice birds showed up and pooped all over. One day while out in the back yard I was talking and walking and doing pooper scooper patrol and outta no where this hawk comes in and grabs one of the birds in mid air! Scared me to death! No way I was expecting a bird to become fast food for a hawk. What do you call that? I've seen the hawk a few other times but not real often since a storm took the nest at the end of the street down.

Well that's all for now. Back to the salt mines.

Hobby or obsession part 2

Seems folks think I can't do anything, not true. I can do some things but try to do what I can that causes the least amount of pain. Sometimes I have to find a way, usually I dont give up.

A couple of years ago  I made some paperback book covers.  Each was made so they can be used on just about any size paperback book and no one can see what your reading. The are done on fleece, wasn't bad to work with really. The problems was centering the design on the front cover. I still have blanks in case anyone else wants one. Yes there is a ribbon as a page marker.  The crossbuck, or railroad crossing sign was made by me, brought that up to show I can do stuff.
The idea was to make it look like but not exactly. I have to do the design on my laptop. Software only works if it is attached to the sewing machine. Care to guess what that cost me? naw dont think about it. I did a bunch of them as gifts to give away. No one said anything so I guess they didn't like them. I have done names on aprons, boring... and then they complained it was exactly centered. I called around, to be perfect they could PAY $10 each (that was the cheapest) or just pay for my materials and shut up. Now complaining because it was not perfect center just makes me mad. Last perfect guy they hung on a cross, DANG IT! Next time that person asks me to do that for him I'll just hand him the phone number of the place I called and walk off.
I can make clothing, boring. And curtains, also boring. If I put a little something on it and it makes ME like it, then I'm good. Trying to explain how hard it is to pull the material tight is like telling someone to walk to the moon, not gonna happen. I can't pull very hard, and it needs to be tight or it bunches up like it's been drinking lemon juice or something!  I do the best I can, you'd think someone besides me would be happy, hell no. So I just ignore them.

The group I was in to get some designs was fun to start with, then something happened. They were all fighting like freaking 2 year olds. Only thing missing was mommy or daddy this or that. TOO MUCH DRAMA FOLKS! is what I wrote. Your gonna love what happened next. They removed ME. Aint that a kick in the pants? Me the one that said grow up and knock it off I can't learn if your acting like spoiled brats. So I guess I'll go back to making my own designs and leave them to the sandbox.

Some of the places I looked at designs at had free samples. Some even had advice on what to use on which fabric. So not all commercial folks get into childish behavior, thank goodness for new folks that dont know what they are doing to start with. I did get some good advice on how to digitize a picture and make it work. Local folks dont like it when you ask questions and give them the what the hell are you talking about look. Hey a look I'm good at. One that tried to explain and missed half the information got that look. She said "are you confused?" and I said "naw I like walking around with my eyebrows slammed together, dont you think it's a good look?"
That fabric store is gone, lost to the big box jungle of morons. Do NOT ever buy something that needs instructions on how to use it properly at one of those places. They pick the labor pool that will act like drones and not give any answers that actually make sense. I did baby quilts, it has a name plate made of bridal satin, yes the heavy kind. It is removable so when the kid gets older they still have the name part to show everyone. I usually put date, name, height, weight and time on there and if I'm feeling good a small design too. I got told that cost plus $5 was too much. Ok I may not be the brightest bulb in the box but dang!

I did one for Johnny's grand daughter Kendall, she still has it and wont go to sleep without it. The quilt has seen much better days but the block is still perfect like the day I made it for her. She was so excited when she saw me she had to get it out and show me. She said "I still sleep with it, I love it." Now that is why I do some things, the feeling that someone thinks I'm special. God knows I dont get that at home, can't call it home, more like at the house. To think an 8 year old thinks I'm special....wow....and dummy thinks I'm stupid....ugh!

I wish my hands worked better, and didnt' hurt so much. But wishing dont make it so. Yes I can do stuff....when my hands are up to it. Please dont get your g string in a twist if I cant. It's not like I pick when I can do things, it's all up to my hands.

If you look a gift horse in the mouth wouldn't you expect to get bit?
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink... what is it with horses? are they as stubborn as a mule? so why not just call them that? But anyone can be a horses ass without much effort!

Update:

Seems dummy thinks I dont do enough. He offered my embroidery machine to help his coffee buddy keep her business alive. I didn't ask him to do that, in face I have too much other stuff that he wont do that I have to do.  Did he ask? nope. He came back from his daily coffee thing and TOLD me I was going to help this woman.  Why would anyone do that? It would be like me telling someone he would build them a layout without saying anything first. This is just plain rude and disrespectful on his part. No surprise there huh.

Is it a hobby or obsession?

I can do lots of things, some good and some just ok.  I do woodworking, goes with the hardwood floors dont ya think?  What do they do with the scraps? everyone I know throws them away....but me.  I've been known to borrow with no intention of returning leftover pieces no one seemed to want anymore.  I had to find something that I could use all the small leftover pieces. Went to Woodcrafters, man what a place... can empty a wallet in no time flat!  Anywho, I signed up for a class on "turning wood pens" thinking this is gonna be different since I did so bad in school. I have the attentionspan of a gnat sometimes. So school was hard for me. You have to be able to catch my attention and hold it for me to learn anything. And I am not scared to ask questions. Cant know what's going on if ya dont ask, right? 

So I show up for this class, with the data sheet and all the stuff they asked me to bring. Wasn't much, since I just got my lathe, that's the thingy that spins the wood at high speed. The first project was a honey dipper, and yes I still got it. Was gonna send it to my dad but figured it wasn't fancy enough. I opted for the extended class that included making the pens. Guess I was the only one that was really listening, and taking notes. Had my notebook open writing in pencil, case I goof up.
Asking sizes, what speed, what wood, and all the questions that popped in my head. Poor teacher was ready to pull his hair out with all the questions. Must have had another class that took the first half of his hair. So we get the setup, all the parts in front of us. I put my mandrel in the headstock and tighten it up. Teacher is yelling "are you sure it's tight?" I said yup" like a virgin, is that tight enough?" He just smiled and let me turn it on. First thing was speed, how the heck do you set that? the one I had at home has belts not some stinkin knob thingy. It was not fun to explain how my lathe was almost as old as I am and it still runs. So we get the speed thing straighten out and get it spinning just as pretty, was a proud moment to have it not wobble.  I grab the first tool to cut with, rest it on the rest just like teacher showed me. Very slowly went to touch the wood to round it off....and then it touched. It was like a card in the spoke of a wheel on a bicycle....and the shock wave it sent thru my arms was like being hit with a tazer! All I could think of was "holy shit this hurts like hell and I'm suppose to think this is fun?"
For those that don't know, I have carpel tunnel and cubital tunnel syndrone, one is wrists other is elbows. The wrist one is pretty common, the elbow one is not. To explain what that is like let me let you imagine what it's like to smack your elbow over and over and over, ya know that little shock you get? it's like that all the time and any vibration feels like that. So you got numb hands and elbows that send you thru the roof. Are we having fun yet? I excused myself, went to the rest room and cried. No one saw me do that and I tried hard not to let anyone hear it either. Reached in my pocket and grabbed 4 tylenol and prayed it would be enough to calm that nerve down so I could do this. Got some ice from the kitchen and put it on there to make it stop. Then back out to work on my pen.  Teacher was standing next to where I was standing before the quick exit looking at what was there. He said dang your not even close to ready for the next step. Quick thinking me I said how about you show me real close so I wont mess it up. Some guys like to play the hero, if they only knew. He did get the corners off for me, thank goodness. The next step was to cut it, since the thing was round it wasn't as bad . We glued and laughed and sanded and made one heck of a mess for someone to clean up. At the end of an hour I had my honey dipper AND a brand new pen I made! I was so proud.

Sometimes it's best not to ask, ya know. I got home and showed them to dummy. Your about to see why I call him that. I said "look what I made" and he says "what diameter is it suppose to be? I just looked at him, what do you mean? I asked back. He then says "a normal pen is not this fat, why didn't you make it smaller?" I wanted to die, he hated it. He wanted a pen he could use and be comfortable using. So what if my feelings were crushed. On top of all the other dumb things he's said that was enough to earn the name dummy.

I did figure out a way to round the corners off without it killing me. and now I can make a pen from a blank in about an hour, drying time included.  The only time I have taken longer is when I used this really old wood, it was taken outta a peat moss bog and dried. That wood sings, no not songs like Carole King, but it hums and feels like it's telling you a story about it's life. I got some of it from the internet, and it comes with paperwork telling about where it came from and the age of the wood. I made one pen from it, someone stole it, and I cried....maybe one day they will look at the pen and bring it back? sure when pigs fly.....but that's another story

Holiday? what holiday?

Where to start.... when I'm moved to Alabama I had this idea that things were better here, no freezing my butt off for months. Winter is the time of year they slam holidays in, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years.  In my case my birthday and wedding anniversary.
Care to take a guess which one gets celebrated? Keep guessing.... unless you talk to me alot you would never know the answer to that.

Now I did not pick the day we were going to get married, dummy picked it. He wanted it close to another day he said was "too painful for me to celebrate", my Daughter's birthday. You would think since he picked the day he would remember, right? WRONG! He has remembered a total of one time, the day we got married and never again. Why is it my job to remember for him? Is it a day you'd like to forget? or a day you wished had never happened? I dunno the answer to that since I'm not a model train and that's all he thinks about. Used to be work and model trains only he dont work anymore.

I'm not sure where I went wrong but this isnt the life I dreamed of, more like the next chapter in a never ending nitemare. How do the bills get paid? who takes care of the house? who takes care of things that are broken? Holidays? see they are WAY at the bottom of the list if they are even ON the list. Romance? not gonna happen unless I have an affair, which aint gonna happen. If you even think you know me, trust me you really dont. I'm more likely to be sitting at the house, doing what needs to be done than to be out having fun....fun? what's that? I dont get that anymore either. I get what I can get by with and shut the hell up. Got tired of the screaming fights after the second woman called and had to tell me all about fucking my husband while I was at work.
Sometimes sharing things like that hurt someone else, in this case it hurt me. Did he once say he was sorry? are you on drugs? he has never said that to me EVER! If you think that calling the wife and telling her what her husband likes in bed will change things, here's a clue, you'll be done and he might have a place to live if he's lucky.

You'd expect when you tell someone "I love you" to hear it back right? I didn't, what I got back was "I dont care your breathing" gee thanks, how about just kicking me one more time before you go play trains? Those words can not be taken back, nor can they be explained away. They are stuck in my head till the day I die. Will I trust anyone to have my heart again? FUCK NO! The only person on this earth that gets my love is my daughter, grand kids dont know me so they can't say they do or dont.  I would hope they do but that's all I can do is hope.

The first year we were married I did the whole christmas decorating and present thing, what a mess. Mother in law couldn't get me anything since she was on a limited income, which was ok, but dummy said "go buy you something and put my name on it" well aint that special. The tree is packed away along with all the lights and stuff never to be taken out again. That was the first hint of what was to come, but I kept trying....guess I need to be smacked in the head for that.
That same year I threw a birthday party for him, got a really cute cake done at work. Back then I was a cashier at a local grocery store, oh my poor aching feet! So I got them to do the cake for me since I wasn't allowed to cook in Mrs. Hudson's kitchen. Her house, Her kitchen, Her bathroom....yup I tip toed around to not get in her way or heaven forbid move something on her. Blind folks are really touchy when you move something and dont tell them. I was telling her about the cake, has white icing, and the writing on it said "to be refilled 1000 times" it looked like a prescription! was very cute, till mother in law tried to read it....SMEAR! Oh well I tried. Dummy was pissed, said "why did you waste time and money on that?" Yup he made me cry again.
That was the last birthday we celebrated. He thinks if we dont mention them we dont get older?

That brings us to the one holiday that is celebrated, with my friend Earle (yes it's spelled right after him yelling at me for not putting the e on the end). He does Thanksgiving, and boy dont he ever. Turkey, dressing, rolls, salad and oh my god mac and cheese, I love him mac and cheese. And I told him so the first time he made it. I think that was before Lucinda, and after Karen. The guy treats me like we are family, can bring someone as long as I tell him before hand so he has enough food made. He is the brother I never had, I can call and tell him my troubles or yell at him my mower is broke and he come fix it. Hell I can call him and say hey my computer threw up again and he will fix that too. Only thing we are missing is blood, he's not related by blood but by his caring for me like a brother would, if I had one. So when he calls asking for me to help with something I'm there to help him. He makes the one day a year I'm at his house special, every year for the last 18 years he has done this, except one and that's only cuz he didn't have a place to cook.

The last year I made something special, and lord knows it was. I made a desk set for my dad. Had pen, letter opener and magnifying glass in it. Made with my hands out of ebony wood. Dad like them so much he threw them in the garbage. So no more of that ever again either.

I guess this kinda explains why I dont do holidays anymore. I'm not up for fighting and folks trying to out do each other. I'm just me, I dont have a ton of money but I do have a heart and seeing folks not happy because I didn't get them the latest gadget hurts. I did cookies one year, my feet were not happy with that. I used up every shoe box I could get my hands on and covered it with wrapping paper, had a few bring back the empty box saying they wanted a refill. Some were so happy I gave them something, something I made for them. And those disappointed folks just killed it for me. I did it that one year and never again. Personally I like gifts that mean something, not that you got the biggest wallet either. Homemade gifts mean you took time to think of me as someone that you felt something for, not love but like fondness.

So have a happy whatever day it is and please dont get me anything or it makes dummy look worse.



Well here it is a year later, nothing changed. Dummy still didn't say anything for any holiday.
Can this get more depressing?

I still play wizard twice a day, dont want my plants to die. And sometimes I play just cuz it's something to do that doesn't depress me. My life is pretty depressing. I dont go anywhere, mr pain in my ass has to go to the coffee shop everyday. Pardon me if I wanna do anything or go anywhere since it will NOT be in HIS plans. So explain how this is a partnership.... I do all the work and he dont do a damn thing but play trains and drink coffee and god damn dont he eat!
I made banana bread, he ate the whole damn loaf in one sitting! What the hell?
If I try to eat anything he watches me like I'm about to steal something. Why? The food is suppost to be for both, guess he's more important .....asswipe!

You want what?

I was thinking about when I worked with Johnny, really wasn't work if I had that good of a time is it?

One morning we, me and Johnny and Alicia is daughter, got in the van and off we went to the job.
First the builder has to be a pain and make Johnny listen to his mouth for a few mins, in the mean time I get my broom and my pencil and up the stairs I go. I have to clean before we can put the floor down. I got it mostly cleaned when he brought the tar paper up, this job was on a second floor...eww.  Anyways, I asked which way he was going to want the paper, being a smart butt cuz I already knew. He just smiled and said just do it and be quiet :)

So Johnny is racking out the floor, for those that dont know that means, he is putting the pieces in order so I can just pick the next piece and nail it and go on. Everything was going pretty well, Alicia is left handed so I gave her the start side so it would be easier for her to keep going. All was not well, the windows had guys pressed to them staring at her! I made a noise and they looked away, like I didn't see anything... yeah sure. Well the 3rd time I had to stop and get them to leave her alone I had enough, so I flung open a window, stuck my head out and yelled, "look she's here to do a job so leave her the hell alone or I'm going to throw you off that scaffold" one guy said but that's not a woman's job, I said "one more word from you and your gone bud so shut up and get to work NOW!  What I didn't know was the builder was standing right under where they were working. He was laughing at them. He said "I told you guys she would get ya" everyone got the warning but no one believed it till I opened that window.  Alicia was looking at me like a deer caught in the headlights, Johnny was laughing under his breath looking the other way so I wouldn't see. On the way home we all broke down and laughed about it. She said "first time anyone has stood up for me like that. I'm thinking dear lord where is her mother been? Oh that's right she was changing husbands like I change my socks....not much of a mother in my book. She is a beautiful woman, ok I'm average sorta.... someone has to watch out for her that has a heart.  Especially on the job. Yup was a day to remember :)

Boy time flies sometimes....

Went to visit my friend Johnny, usually I hear from him once a month so I know he's ok. Well he's been slacking....shame on you Johnny! But I did hear from his sister, Brenda is a really special lady. She drove her other brother back from Texas and was visiting Bertha and Johnny. To me these folks make me feel like someone gives a damn I'm alive....only thing I've ever done with them is listen to what they wanted to tell me. Yes Johnny and I are friends, no not friends with benefits...he's like an older brother that happens to look like my dad .  I met him years ago, started out helping him with his payroll when his computer puked on him. Then got promoted to working in the field.
You can laugh if you want but I really loved that job, not the payroll part the second part.  Had many a guy tell me I make it look so easy, trust me it's hard on your body to install hardwood floors.

Seeing him reminded me of a funny story about a builder who was not a very nice person but he did pay his bills. We were setting up for a day's work, sat down to smoke and drink a bit of coffee before going on. This builder walks up to us and say, "those cigarettes are gonna make you deader than dead" and I'm thinking you think your a doctor or trying to shock us or something?
So thinking about it for oh about 5 seconds I said "can I be a little dead so I can have a day off?" He stood there for about 20 mins, nothing was coming outta his mouth! I made the man speechless!  I later talking to his son, found out it was hours before he could say anything and when he did first thing he said was "dang where did she come up with that?" so anytime I need a giggle I think about that story. Johnny laughs about it still, he couldn't believe I said that but went along with anything I said. Told the builder you take her on your on your own!

Today he asked me to take my tools outta the van, I didn't want to. That would be the end of working for him and god knows I never wanted to see that. Yes I love the guy but I would never tell him that. He has seen me cry, he has seen me just outta surgery. So bad dont matter to him as long as I'm happy. He knew I loved the job, not that I had to tell him. It was the smile when I looked at a job when it was finished that made him know. There are several stories about jobs I'll share later on when my hands are up to typing....

Till then, stay warm and try to smile once in a while :)

Mowing already? for real?

Well it's still chilly out, but the grass dont seem to care.....IT'S GROWING!

It was getting to be a 2 to 3 hour hunt in the tall grass to pick up the poop. That is if it didn't rain on it and make it half melt. First let me say this, it's NOT a fun job, but with 4 dogs it's a job that must be done everyday or you get to dance around the yard so you dont step in it and carry it all over.
I was hoping they would pick 1 spot, nope, that would make it too easy. So every morning, when it's not currently raining. you can find me out there with the pooper scooper in my hand walking the yard. Please note I said me, not anyone else. Seems it's "not a manly thing to do that job" so I do it and gave up on bitching to get one of the grown men in the house to do it for me.
Anyways, I started up the garden tractor, mowed the really tall spots so I can see the poop faster and makes it easier to pick up too. I gotta give credit to Jimmy, he fixed it last fall when it refused to start, and I mean it refused. I left him alone with it for 20 mins, and came back out to the sound of it running!  Was a pleasure to turn the key and it came to life!  Now to get someone to put some gas in it so when spring does come I'll be able to cut the whole yard. That's a good luck thing because someone dont like to share.


My pear tree is in full bloom, huh? I wish I was kidding but nope it's covered in blooms! Now I can't cut limbs off or it will damage the tree....dang I need to be 4 people to get everything done.

My roses are still sleeping, enjoying all the wet weather so they can grow like nuts again....been hacking the dead wood off slowly but surely. City picked up a truckload last week, yay city for doing your job. Not that they do it all the time, only when I call and bitch.

If you can see this, it's my gate in the back yard. The second gate, it's mostly in blue, is chain link like a fence. I used the dog food bags, what me throw something away that can still be used? I think not, cut into strips and weaved in the chain link so the dogs wouldn't see as much and yell.
In the next few days I will cut up more bags, only got 10 this time. My goal is to do the fence all the way around the yard to keep the dogs from screaming as much. The strips are not hard to cut and install, just takes time and hand work..... and that isn't easy for someone with carpel tunnel syndrome and cubital tunnel syndrome. I still need about 25 more bags, at 2 a month or as fast as they get emptied. The strips have been thru rain, high winds and hot summer sun and still look about the same. The printed side is towards the inside, you can mix them up and it makes almost patchwork look or keep them in order and they look silly. The outside is white, so if you drive by the yard you see the white and think dang that looks nice.  Will update as I get it done.

Today when some one goes to the "coffee shop" I will drag out my surprise and put it together.
My surprise is I got another composter. It's on legs, and turns pretty easy. This way I can rotate them to which one is ready and which one to fill. Remember I throw away as little as I can get away with. I have put 5 bags of leaves, countless coffee grounds, egg shells...ect in the first one and like it so much and know one can't keep up with all I can put it in so I had to get a second one.


Well that's it for now, will post later on this week.

Folks that mean the world to me, not usually related.

WOW?

Well yesterday was my daughter's birthday. Dont know where 34 years went but she is 34 now...yet I can remember the day she was born like it was yesterday. Who was there, and who was being an asshole. Nope didn't do politics then either. Who wasn't there was my family, none of them. They had their own lives and I wasn't a part of it then and not now either.


Marriage was somewhere down the list, wasn't top since most of the guys I knew then cared only about getting drunk. Yes I did drink, but dont anymore. Did a lot of things I would rather forget then have burned in my brain as stuff everyone needs to remember.  I had one real friend, the rest were just folks I knew or were related to by blood. None of them cared if I lived. died or fell off the planet! Those you can weed out pretty quickly or just have them hang around for a laugh. Judy was the only one that would listen without passing judgement on how dumb or stupid what I did was. My family were not around unless they were the center of attention, and everyone knows a baby changes everything. And when I had Rhonda it did change everything. Now I had to take care of another person, I was all she had! Her father, to this day claims "She's not my kid". You would think he would remember spending the night in his mother's driveway in the freezing cold with me. Guess to him it wasn't important enough. If I could take that night back would I? no...then I wouldn't have the one person in the world I can say I love with my whole heart.  She wasn't planned but she did change my world.

Learned exactly how my mother thought it should be. She tried for months to get to have an abortion, did I do that? HELL NO! Did she tell anyone? nope, she didn't want anyone to know I was her daughter as it was. How could she tell all her "beano buddies" she had no kids if I was her daughter?  How could she screw around on Bill, her husband, if she couldn't feel free to do that in front of me? Yes I turned my back to not see it but it was there. She even tried to fix me up with the guy's son, oh yeah a REAL winner.  Even had her show up with her friend to use my bed, guess she respected me in another life because it sure wasn't this one.


Being a parent to a child that needed medical attention was hard. You feel like god punished you for doing something bad, but what the hell could I have done to deserve this?  It's not something I did, it was genetics, not from me but from her father who was born with the same condition but "forgot" to tell me when I questioned him. How does one forget they had club feet, yes he had both, Rhonda had just one. The many times of walking the halls with her in my arms so she would sleep were burned in my memory. Surgeons that sorta cared if the state was paying the bills this month. I didn't have medical insurance then and I still dont.  I made a HUGE mistake by going to the Shriners. It's the one thing I wish I could take back, one promise after another was broken yet I tried to make it work.  We will help you, guess either I wasn't cute enough or because I wouldn't put out I got nothing. They did take care of her medical bills for surgery after surgery after surgery if I could get her there. It was only 400 miles away, no way to walk and taking a bus with a baby was one of those have you lost your mind things. So I begged my friends to help. A few did, most didn't have time or couldn't afford to drive that far. Was not a fun time but it was a time.

I didn't do it :)

What did I do today? watched tv, played wizard 101 and treasure isle on facebook. Nope not an exciting day but it did do one thing.... I stayed warmed in the house :)


I was planning on going out for supper, but no one would have been there and what good is a birthday dinner alone? So I stayed home....again.....watching tv Hankmed isn't all that great the 4th time you've seen the same episode. The guy that claimed he was "gonna be in town" didn't show up either, like most men in my life they all LIE! So I sent him a message thanks for what you did and left it at that. Think he might figure it out? nope.


My daughter forgot, most of my friends forgot, even hubby forgot again. So from this day forth screw it no more birthdays. I must be more forgettable than I guessed. It's ok I'll live. Never had a birthday party in my life, guess I didn't miss much there either. Just makes me wonder why everyone tells me their birthday and expects me to make them something and when I dont or can't because my hands are hurting they complain.  I try to make gifts like wooden pens or a book cover with a picture on it. If my hands are going nuts swelling or just not being able to feel them at all I will do it. Those few that realize how much actual work goes into what they get makes them choke on not saying thank you. I learned a long time ago dont expect anything and your feelings wont get hurt.

Tomorrow is another day, I'll get some stuff done. Starting with cutting up a deer leg, my first time with that but I got some tips from my sister. I'll play some of my games I play everyday and do pooper scooper, nope I didn't do that at 35 degrees this morning....I know that was bad to skip but I REALLY hate cold.  Goal for tomorrow, get the leg cut in half, get it soaking. Cook a pie with dehydrated apple slices that are strawberry flavored. My first time with that too. If I'm up for it I'll go clean the front porch off from the odd leaves that flew in over the past week. Till tomorrow.....

Becca

Rhonda and her daughter Becca

My Daughter and Grandson

This is my daughter, Rhonda and her oldest son Michael.

 Rhonda, Michael, Jacob, Emmy and Becca.

winter

My ole bones really hate this cold.  Seems like each winter it hurts more and more.  And I spend less and less time outside....well someone has to do pooper scooper patrol, don't they?

The days are short, and the cold makes it seem like all I wanna do is get under the covers!
Must have been a genius that figured out how to make a blanket warm no matter how cold it was.
I would love to shake that man's hand and thank him for keep my toes from turning that crazy shade of blue!

This spring I'll have tons to blog about, from fixing the hall ceiling to installing insulation in the back bedroom and lets not forget putting sheetrock up! I am sorta looking forward to that but the pain it will cause my arms is a horse of a different color! I'll get thru it somehow, just wait and see.

Well that is what the ceiling looked like in the hall. It got repaired, sorta. Yes there is sheet rock up there, and it's now insulated too. So that is a small plus on my side. Wasn't as hot in here last summer and this winter is colder than last year but the gas bill hasn't been much higher. Yes I'm putting the higher cost in the equation. But I'm the stupid one.....remember this.